Should Have Iced The Beer Down First

Today was hot enough to melt road stripes into mustard. I was thinking how awful it’d be for a car to break down in this heat, when sure enough, it happened. A dusty black sedan was stalled at a four-way intersection with no service station in sight.

And it was lunch hour.

The driver climbed out -- a nice-looking businessman but fuming, as were the folks behind him. He took off his tie, rolled up his sleeves and began pushing his car over to a corner parking lot. Drivers bumped their way around him in a sloppy version of the Texas Two Step.

Meanwhile, the traffic light turned from red to green to red. Twice.

For one group of passengers stuck at the light, the wait was unbearable. They were, after all, headed to the lake with two canoes strapped to their SUV, and they still needed to stop and get ice for their beer coolers. Two men, two women. Fit enough to be lifeguards.

That’s when their impatient driver had an epiphany. He knew just how to make the sweating businessman move faster. No, it wasn’t getting out to help. Or even offering to call for help.

He did what any enlightened jerk would do. He blasted his horn. Which inspired other drivers to join in, making for one grand, group-jerk hallelujah moment.

The traffic light turned from red to green to red for the third time.

I don’t know about you, but pushing a 4,000-pound car by yourself in just three light changes seems pretty reasonable to me.

Even heroic.

Too bad the convenience store where Horn Guy planned to buy his ice had shut down months ago. The owner couldn’t get any lender help.