Agitated, she waved a crinkled declaration from her neighborhood association supporting her contention. It read: “We cannot and do not accept shades in the Pepto-Bismol color palette. Doing so causes nausea, indigestion and diarrhea. Be warned that you will be fined and required to repaint your house in an approved shade at your own expense. Failure to do so will result in legal action, including a two-day suspension of restroom privileges at our community swimming pool.”
The declaration was printed on a glorious shade of Buff Me Beige.
I thought it’d be helpful if I showed her some photos from my St. Thomas trip. “See?” I said. “Compared to the brilliant colors in St. Thomas, your neighbor’s color transgressions are really nothing to complain about. What’s the deal?”
I couldn’t expect my friend to understand. She was, after all, paying substantial quarterly association dues for something very precious to her: convention.
I know she’ll never visit St. Thomas.
She’ll never know a true sapphire blue.
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