Germy Squirmy

TripAdvisor just came out with the five germiest places in the world and I am so searching for my paw sanitizer. Yes, even though I travel on astral flights, I have to think about germs lurking in the non-physical realm of existence, not just the kind mutating on toilet seats.

I thank my lucky whiskers I haven’t flown to the Furry-Fungus Five:

1. Blarney Stone, Blarney, Ireland

2. Wall of Gum, Seattle, Washington

3. Oscar Wilde’s Tomb, Paris, France

4. St. Mark’s Square, Venice Italy,

5. Grauman’s Chinese Theater, Hollywood, CA

And to think I almost scheduled a flight to St. Mark’s Square. Napoleon Bonaparte described it as the most beautiful dining room in Europe, and right he was. It’s blanketed with pigeons. Harlequin Cat had visions of an all-you-can eat pigeon gorge polished off by bubbly fountain water,

But pigeon poo? I don’t think so. As a sanitized-card-carrying germ phobe, I offer my own list of the five germiest places in the world:

1. Food buffet lines: Can you say spoon handle?

2. Doorknobs: These should be outlawed, even the antique glass kind.

3. Credit-card swipers with punch buttons: Just think about it. And think about the pen-on-a-string you use to sign your credit-card slip.

4. Airplanes: Nothing worse than feeling (and smelling) warm, exhaled passenger breath on the back of your neck.

5. Malls: I’m sure the children’s petri-dish play areas – aka “kid fun zones” -- are sanitized daily, right?

Sigh. No matter if humans are left- or right-membraned, their socialization skills will always be infectious. Don’t hold your breath thinking things will change.

On second thought, maybe you should.