Last night I had this crazy dream that I lived in the Land of Abbreviations, Acronyms and Portmanteaus (LAAP). I poured myself a glass of G, turned on some Lady A and read an issue of O. I worked out at the Y and washed my BMW. I ate at KFC, watched NatGeo and then switched to Syfy. I ironed my DKNY blouses and rode my Hog (making sure I wore my Tag so I wouldn’t forget the time).
I learned that GEICO wasn’t the name of a gecko but instead stood for Government Employment Insurance Company. (As my gecko-eating alter ego will tell you, this really blew my other mind and I will never ever look at GEICO the same way again.)
I raced by the Shack, the Hut and the Ritz. I left the Citi, dropped in at NPR and whizzed past the NRA.
I confused REO with SEO, which made me wonder why there isn't an SEO Speedwagon.
I even invented my own abbrev: “Ida” for Ore-Ida (Ore-Ida, I know your name is a portmanteau of Oregon and Idaho, but I’d much rather have a friendly conversation with Ida because she’s “All Righta”… maybe you should do a national search for the perfect Ida?).
And then I woke up. Someone in the house said DQ.
