Just as I was tracking a water droplet rolling down a plump Chardonnay grape, I overheard a couple complaining about the corkage fee they had to pay the night before.
Turns out the sommelier at the posh restaurant was annoyed they had brought their own wine. Their first offense: They didn’t call ahead for BYOB permission. Their second: Their bottle was a lot cheaper than anything on the menu. In fact, it was a $40 bottle purchased from a grocery store. No wonder nearby diners looked away.
Because the corkage fee rule is to charge the equivalent of a restaurant’s least expensive offering, the waiter added $75 to the couple’s bill.
I don’t know about you, but I could fill my water dish with a lot of San Pellegrino for $75. Sure, I understand the loss of wine sales can depress a restaurant’s earnings, but that’s flawed thinking, or else why wouldn’t a corkage fee be charged to diners who don’t order wine at all? They’re contributing to the loss of wine sales, too.
A corkage fee also covers wine-glass breakage. I mean, who knows how many wine stems are broken each day, right? Probably hundreds, maybe thousands. I wonder why restaurants aren’t worried about their water glasses. Maybe they should consider a water-pouring fee.
Like I said, I’m just a shelter cat, so I don’t get restaurants being “offended” by patrons who eschew their wines. Owners justify corkage fees by saying their chefs spend months pairing wines with dishes. I didn’t know it was such an arduous task. I asked my owners once if they would do a pairing for me, and they said, “Sure. Here’s your water. Here’s your food. Eat.”
OK, I’ll give it up. I have a few wine corks to bat around the floor anyway.
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