This morning I made a smooth, picture-perfect astral landing on Wall Street and watched as preoccupied bankers scurried to their offices.
They did not have human heads.
Instead, they had squirrel heads that actually looked quite natural with their dark gray suits. I didn’t see any bushy tails, though. Guess they must have tucked those away somewhere.
Don’t ask me why I wasn’t shocked. Knowing that Wall Street’s biggest banks have “set aside” hundreds of billions of dollars for bonus pools despite receiving billions in taxpayer bailout money – well, let’s just say Harlequin Cat found the squirrel heads to be unremarkable.
After all, squirrels save more food than they really need.
They scatter-hoard just in case their first stash is found.
And they’re opportunists. If they see a bird feeder, they go nuts because they can eat until they’re full without touching their stockpiled supplies.
Wow. All those bird feeders -- the equivalent of high-frequency trading. No wonder the squirrel humans looked so happy today.
I didn’t mention squirrels have a brain the size of a walnut.
I’m not even going there.
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